The emotionally and spiritually sane response [to Covid-19] is to prepare to be forever changed. ~Aisha S. Ahmad

Two writers have been helpful to me in the last couple of weeks as I think about my own work and how I can best help my clients. What’s become clear to me is that while we may be consumed with the immediate response to the new normal created by Covid-19, we must simultaneously be preparing long-term. Assuming that we can wait it out and then return to business as usual, is likely not a prudent strategy. We need to be bold and respond to the present and plan for a new future.

Andy Crouch, Kurt Keilhacker, and Dave Blanchard of Praxis, suggest we consider three horizons, simultaneously.

Three Horizons

(1) The blizzard – the immediate scramble to prepare for the coming weeks. (2) The long winter – once we’ve positioned ourselves to survive the immediate situation, how do we sustain ourselves for the coming months. (3) A little ice age – this may not end in months; it may stretch out in some form for 18 months to two years. How can we endure the ice age that may be upon us?

The Praxis trio suggests this advice. “…consider how to allocate leadership attention to these three horizons. Our counsel is to immediately direct a substantial percentage of our attention to reinvention for the little ice age, even as we will feel most drawn to operate in blizzard and winter mode. We must ensure our people are safely deployed and cared for in the blizzard, while we build scenarios and take decisive action relating to cash flows, supply chains, customer disruptions, and team capacity. Yet we urge every leader to realize that their organization’s survival in weeks and months, let alone years, depends far more on radical innovation than on tactical cutbacks. This will mean iterating and experimenting very quickly in the coming weeks.”

Prepare to be Forever Changed

The second response I have found helpful comes from Aisha S. Ahmad who wrote the following in The Chronicle of Higher Education.

“Global catastrophes change the world, and this pandemic is very much akin to a major war. Even if we contain the Covid-19 crisis within a few months, the legacy of this pandemic will live with us for years, perhaps decades to come. It will change the way we move, build, learn, and connect. There is simply no way that our lives will resume as if this had never happened. And so, while it may feel good in the moment, it is foolish to dive into a frenzy of activity or obsess about your productivity right now. That is denial and delusion. The emotionally and spiritually sane response is to prepare to be forever changed.”

It’s bold to prepare to be forever changed. It is bold to consider not only the immediate need, but to look at all three horizons simultaneously. In the midst of the Covid-19 crisis, leaders need to be bold.

Our mind is enriched by what we receive, our heart by what we give. ~Victor Hugo

I’m learning many leadership lessons, as we all are, throughout this pandemic experience. One of those lessons for me is the importance of being a good receiver of bold grace.

I started the year with the intent to sell my home and move. My home went on the market and I had an offer within 48 hours. This is not at all what I had expected to happen and I needed to find a new home quickly. Through a series of events, I was introduced to someone who was about to put their home on the market and I was able to purchase it without realtors.

Then came the pandemic. Selling, buying, and moving all became both an uncertain and different sort of experience.

Here’s my lesson.

I tend to be a fairly independent person. It’s not that I don’t want others to help me, I just really hate feeling like I’m bothering others. But as events unfolded in the midst of a pandemic, I needed to let other people help me. I needed to let other people be the ones practicing bold grace and I needed to be a good receiver.

The list of those giving me bold grace seemed to grow every day. From the neighbors in my old home who graciously helped me repair water damage from their unit into mine at the eleventh hour, to the neighbors at my new home who greeted me with flowers. Then there was my real estate attorney and his entire staff who adapted to changes in process and reassured me that all was going to move forward.

And the movers who arrived early(!) and worked carefully and diligently throughout the day of the move. Even the cable/internet service person who really wasn’t supposed to spend that much time in a home, due to the pandemic, but said he’d help me anyway. Thank goodness. Can’t imagine sheltering in place without working technology. I can’t leave out the previous owner of my new home. She was incredibly helpful and gracious, making repairs in the home while no one was living there which would have been more challenging after I had moved given the need for social distancing.

Surrender to bold grace.

At some point along the way in the last couple of weeks I finally decided I needed to surrender to receiving bold grace from others.

I think one of the greatest acts a leader can do, is to be a good receiver of bold grace. When I think of Victor Hugo’s quote: “our mind is enriched by what we receive, our heart by what we give” it highlights the importance of enabling others’ hearts to be enriched by allowing them to give.

Leaders: Be bold and surrender to the grace extended to you throughout this pandemic.

Praise crazy. Praise sad. Praise the path on which we’re led. ~Joy Harjo

Joy Harjo’s poem “Praise the Rain” makes space to appreciate all the nuances of our lives. Even overwhelming uncertainty. That’s the best way I know how to describe the world these days. As we all know, what we once considered normalcy has been turned on end and seems to change from hour to hour. My contemplation of overwhelming uncertainty has led me right back to bold grace. If ever there was a time that bold grace was needed, I think it’s now. So, how can I lead with bold grace in my own small way through this pandemic?

Be patient.

Be patient with others, with yourself, with the process, and try to empathize. Dealing with COVID-19 is challenging by itself. Pile on other life issues and it can push people to the edge. Remember, we all have challenges in addition to the pandemic.

Be flexible.

I know I put clients on timelines and do my best to hold both their feet and my own to the fire to keep things moving forward. Now is not the time to hold others accountable to schedules or budgets. We just have to be flexible and ride this out together.

Pause and be grateful.

While it may feel as if we’re swirling in chaos, take a moment to pause and take in the sunshine. Write down even three things for which you are grateful, right now. Don’t underestimate the power of recognizing abundance. I’m certainly not suggesting that we trivialize the seriousness of our current circumstance, but that we try to keep from letting it consume us or those we are leading.

Be honest.

If you are in a leadership position, don’t sugar-coat or make false promises. What people need is straightforward, honest information.

Communicate often.

That can apply both professionally and personally. Not only are people more isolated but the combination of social distancing and added stress could stretch our mental wellness. Communicate to encourage and to inform. Daily virtual meetings or check-ins could have a significant impact. Even knowing that nothing has changed is critical during a time of uncertainty.

Just sit together in the dark.

Krista Tippett from the On Being Project shared, “The meaning of the Inuit word ‘qarrstiluni’ conjures up a striking image: ‘sitting together in the dark, waiting for something to happen.’ Teju Cole shares the word in his On Being conversation.” That image describes how I feel. Like we are all sitting together in the dark, waiting for something to happen. Many times when people are in the midst of challenging life situations, they need someone to just sit with them. Not to fix the problem, or list all of the “at least it’s not…” scenarios they can. We just need to sit together in the dark, and that can even mean sitting together virtually.

As Joy Harjo penned, “Praise crazy. Praise sad. Praise the path on which we’re led.” That sounds like leading with bold grace.

Collaborative Conversation: Argue without being argumentative and disagree without being disagreeable. ~Doug Fisher

A common theme in my work these days is conflict resolution, which is frequently manifested because horizontal teams are struggling to work together. When people, or teams, lack the vertical hierarchy to make a decision or resolve an issue, they get stuck in an endless debate that only digs the hole of disagreement even deeper.

We’ve lost (or maybe never developed) the skills to have truly collaborative conversations. This means we need to speak-up, articulate our thinking (be bold), and do it in a way that is respectful and inclusive (delivered with grace).

Tips to Have a Collaborative Conversation

• Establish the outcome for the conversation. What decision are you trying to make? What problem are you hoping to solve?
• Use a cooperative not a competitive tone. This isn’t about establishing a winner and a loser. Author Amy Edmondson describes it as “People say what they think and they’re willing to be proven wrong.” That mindset will demand a more cooperative kind of tone.
• Use phrases like:
  • Yes, and… (instead of: Yes, but…)
  • Can you tell me more about that?
  • My perspective is different…because…
  • The way I interpreted what you said was…please correct me if I’m wrong.
  • Would you consider…because…
  • What if we…
  • I think we could benefit if we…because…
• Keep contributions short. Think of it as playing on a soccer team – quick passing back-and- forth between players who are committed to scoring in the same goal. 
• Take the time to summarize agreements and disagreements periodically (not just at the close) to check for accuracy and depth of shared understanding.
• Close out the conversation by synthesizing, categorizing and prioritizing. Don’t just walk away frustrated.

Hear Thinking

The point of a collaborative conversation is not to “make your case,” it’s to hear thinking. This requires three things of all parties involved. (1) Clearly state what you think and why so others can hear your thinking. (2) Ask clarifying questions with a cooperative tone so you can hear what others think. (3) Be patient and trust the process.

As Doug Fisher said, “Argue without being argumentative and disagree without being disagreeable.” Lead with bold grace.

A moment of poverty; it is this opening that we all wait and long for.  One side calls forth and also creates the other—and neither side needs or wants to take the credit.  It is the essence of what we mean by grace, the ecstasy of intimacy. ~Richard Rohr 

A moment of poverty is the ultimate act of leadership.  ~Kathryn Scanland

What is a moment of poverty?  For most of us, when we think about poverty we think of a lack of financial means.  But the meaning of the word poverty has nothing to do with money or finances.  Poverty means a lack, a shortage, deficiency or scarcity of anything.  We’ve just become accustomed to using it almost exclusively for financial poverty.

Several years ago, I traveled to the remote rural regions of Zambia.  I was certainly anticipating poverty.  In fact, numerous people had warned me about being overwhelmed by the extreme poverty that I would witness.  When I stepped out of the Range Rover at the first village we visited, one of the most remote and underdeveloped, their poverty didn’t overwhelm me.  It was how my own poverty was exposed that overwhelmed me.  Sure, I had far more financial means than they did.  However, they had far more joy, peace, contentment, and sacrificial hospitality than I had ever experienced, or even thought possible.  It was a humbling moment of vulnerability.  It was a moment of poverty—my poverty.

Vulnerable enough to identify with

Dr. Henry Cloud said that to be an effective leader, a leader of integrity, “you must be strong enough to depend upon, but vulnerable enough to identify with.”  If leaders can be open to moments of poverty, and embrace them as opportunities for grace and intimacy with colleagues and employees, their likelihood to have people follow them will be significantly enhanced.  Simon Sinek, in Leaders Eat Last, says “You’ve got to STEP AWAY from the spreadsheets and the computer screen; you’ve got to get out of the board room, you’ve got to do more than blast off a memo here and a memo there – you’ve got to show em’ that you care and show em’ that you’re there.”   

What better way to be vulnerable and show the people you work with that you’re there than to allow your own poverty to be exposed. 

An example: you’re in a planning meeting with the team you lead.  You suggest a strategy that’s got merit but it’s not necessarily mind blowing.  Then a staff member speaks up and suggests a strategy that demonstrates real innovate thinking and has the possibility of something akin to hitting it out of the ballpark.  Instead of forcing your idea through, since you hold the leadership position, you commend their creativity and not only support their idea but suggest they take the lead on that strategy.  A moment of poverty can be as simple as demonstrating that you don’t always have the best idea (because you don’t!).          

You have limitations  

Moments of poverty can be the recognition that you don’t know, that you don’t have the answer (right now), that you have limitations, that something isn’t your strength but it is someone else’s, that you have experienced some of the very same struggles (professional and personal) that some of your employees are experiencing.  It’s recognizing that sometimes you are deficient and someone else is more than sufficient.  And neither side wants or needs to take the credit.  It is the essence of grace, the ultimate act of leadership. Leading with bold grace.