People lose their way when they lose their why. ~Michael Hyatt

When I look back on 2016, there is one situation that stands out to me as my greatest leadership failure of the year. I know, focusing on the negative may not be an upbeat way to end the year, but it’s really important to me to do better in 2017.

In a nutshell, here’s what I consider my greatest leadership failure of 2016. I worked with a client for many months on a variety of leadership development topics only to discover that they not only didn’t have a collective purpose, they believed that a purpose was unimportant, inconsequential, and probably irrelevant.

My belief couldn’t be more different. Purpose is foundational for both an organization’s success and individual fulfillment. It’s why you exist. It goes well beyond what you do and how you do it. Here are just a few others who share this perspective.

It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideal, but it is a disaster to have no ideal to capture. ~Benjamin E. Mays

Make work a purpose, not just a place. ~Tom Rath

The three things that motivate creative people – autonomy, mastery, and purpose! ~Daniel Pink

We fail, not because of big problems, but because of small purposes. ~John C. Maxwell

Business purpose and business mission are so rarely given adequate thought is perhaps the most important cause of business frustration and failure. ~Peter Drucker

No matter what business you’re in, everyone in the organization needs to know why. ~Frances Hesselbein

I’m asking myself, what will I do differently in 2017? First and foremost, never assume that an organization either has a shared purpose or more importantly, even believes it matters. Defining an organization’s purpose is about authenticity, clarity, and alignment – really important attributes for every organization. I’ll more deliberately ask questions like these, suggested by Jim Collins and Jerry Porras, authors of Built to Last.

• Why does our organization’s existence matter?
• What is our most important reason for being here? Why?
• What would be lost if this organization ceased to exist?
• Why are we important to the people we serve?
• Why would anyone dedicate their precious time, energy, and passion to our organization? (Note: the answer is not money.)

What’s your organization’s why? Never a better time than the beginning of a new year to authentically answer that question and bring clarity and alignment to your organization’s purpose.

Twas the day before Christmas and all through the office
Executives were counting their profits and losses.
The finances were posted on the intranet with care,
In hopes that bonuses soon would be there.

The bosses were nestled all snug in their high-priced threads,
While visions of more danced in their heads.

In the spirit of the holidays and year-end it reminded me of how much we focus on, or obsess over, more. We expect our corporate vision statements to express how we want to achieve more, we write New Year’s resolutions that describe how we will do more, and as we balance our checking accounts we long for just 10% more so that we can be really happy.

It’s interesting that while our culture tends to be fixated on how we can get more, more is not always everything we assume it’s cracked up to be.

In Jim Collins’ book, How the Mighty Fall, he determined (through extensive research) that stage two of how the mighty fall is the undisciplined pursuit of more. More scale, more growth, more acclaim, more of whatever those in power see as “success.” Collins says, “Discontinuous leaps into areas in which you have no burning passion is undisciplined. Taking action inconsistent with your core values is undisciplined. Investing heavily in new arenas where you cannot attain distinctive capability, better than your competitors, is undisciplined. Addiction to scale is undisciplined. To compromise your values or lose sight of your core purpose in pursuit of growth and expansion is undisciplined.”

It is not my intent to end the year on a low note, in fact, it’s the contrary. As leaders make plans for a new year, for both themselves and their organizations, what if they were to think beyond more? What would their visions and goals for 2017 look like if they didn’t start from the vantage point of more?

Tom Rath and Barry Conchie co-authored Strengths Based Leadership. Their research uncovered what employees are really looking for in their leaders, and you guessed it, it’s not the pursuit of more. What employees want and need from the most influential leaders in their lives is: trust, compassion, stability, and hope. Seems much more aligned with the holiday season, doesn’t it? Maybe it should sound more like this:

Twas the day before Christmas and all through the office
Executives were envisioning their dreams and their promise.
To model trust, compassion, hope, and stability
By not withholding their own vulnerability.

Employees are trusting their compassionate leaders
While visions of hope and stability make them believers.

The key is in not spending time, but in investing it. ~Stephen Covey

It’s mid-December, less than three weeks before we ring in the new year. Planners and resolution-makers are sharpening their pencils, preparing to list what they hope to do, achieve, and accomplish in 2017. Some may be asking, “How should I spend my time next year”? But is that the right question?

Back in 2006, I bought a small lake cottage in Michigan. I wanted to spend time outside of the city, be close to nature, and sleep peacefully in the quiet darkness that can’t be found in urban surroundings. For nine years I loved my cottage. I was there frequently, at least every three weeks, many times every other week. I soaked up the sounds of birds in the early morning and the earthy smell of wood burning fireplaces as I walked around the lake in the evening.

After nine years, I discovered I was becoming disinterested, and even frustrated with the need to make the two-hour drive over to my cottage to take care of basic necessities. At first I thought maybe it was the financial cost of maintaining the cottage that was bothering me. After looking at my budget, I realized that the cost of maintenance was really minimal in the grand scheme of things. So why, after nine years, did it feel unsettling?

Then I finally realized, it wasn’t the cost, it was my time. For nine years I viewed it as spending time at my cottage, time I enjoyed. But something shifted, and I was now viewing my time as an investment. When we spend money, it’s gone. When we investment money, we hope for something more in return. It’s really not any different with our time. I wanted a greater return on my time.

How does this relate to leadership? I believe that exceptional leaders are constantly looking for ways to invest their time, not spend their time. Look at any leader’s calendar, and you’ll see if they are a “spender” or an “investor.” Things get on an investor’s calendar because they are asking investment questions:

• What is the best use of my time, right now?
• In what way can I uniquely contribute to the organization that others can’t?
• What could I do that would make a significant impact on our organizational goals?
• What will I do this week that will move our mission and goals forward?
• Who do I need to be developing or coaching?
• How will I build more leaders?

Could your organization benefit from more of its leaders investing their time instead of spending their time? Take advantage of the commencement of a new year and begin to schedule your time as if it’s an investment.

When you’re surrounded by people who share a passionate commitment around a common purpose, anything is possible. ~Howard Schultz

Last week I met a friend at Stan’s Donuts. She commented, “How can there be another donut shop? It’s just donuts.” So true, yet, you’ll find Stan’s Donuts popping up throughout Chicago. That conversation reminded me of Starbucks, after all, it’s just coffee, right? Yet, look at what’s happened? There are 10, yes 10 Starbucks within a short walk from my home. It’s just coffee, right? Or is it?

I love the title of an article in Harvard Business Review (March 14, 2013) by Mark Bonchek: Purpose is good. Shared purpose is better. In the article Bonchek says, “…the goal is aligning values…but in a social age, this kind of purpose isn’t enough. The problem comes down to a simple preposition. Most leaders think of purpose as a purpose for. But what is needed is a purpose with.” He shares these two contrasting examples.

Dunkin Donuts: Make and serve the freshest, most delicious coffee and donuts quickly and courteously in modern, well-merchandised stores.

Starbucks: Our mission: to inspire and nurture the human spirit—one person, one cup and one neighborhood at a time.

Dunkin Donuts’ purpose is clearly for customers, and it delivers on this purpose exceedingly well. But there is something different about Starbucks’ purpose. It is a purpose that is achieved with its customers and employees.

I can still recall an experience I had in 2005, more than 10 years ago. I was traveling in Tampa Bay, Florida and I had an afternoon to do some work before a meeting the next day. I didn’t want to work in my hotel room so I found a Starbucks. I got my computer set up and started to work, but hadn’t ordered anything. After a bit of time an employee came over to talk with me. I thought I was going to be asked to either order something or leave. Instead, he apologized for any inconvenience because they were changing some light bulbs near me and then said I could stay as long as I liked and it didn’t matter if I ordered anything because they were there to provide an inspiring space. Needless to say, they got a customer (and a fan) for life because I was personally invited to join with their purpose.

It’s only a preposition, but it’s a powerful one. A common purpose that creates a passionate commitment is something you do with, not for. I believe that holds true for both an organizational purpose and also for your personal purpose. For any leader, when your purpose is doing something with others, as Howard Schultz says, “anything is possible.”

Telling creates resistance. Asking creates relationships. ~Andrew Sobel

“8 in 10 Americans say the country is more divided than ever” (CNN/ORC Poll released November 27, 2016). I think there are numerous variables creating that divide, and I believe one of them is our inability to simply ask questions. Especially, leaders’ inability to simply ask questions.

How do we communicate today? In face-to-face conversation or through technology?

In a recent study, The Effect of Technology on Face-to-Face Communication by Emily Drago at Elon University, she discovered that “nearly half of survey respondents (46%) communicate more frequently with friends and family via technology than in person, indicating strongly that face-to-face interactions have decreased both in quality and in quantity.”

I raise technology as an issue because I have found that most technology communication I experience is telling. It’s not asking questions or creating relationships. Note I said most I didn’t say all.

What about leaders, how much are they asking questions and creating relationships? I love this quote by Stephen R. Covey: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Think about it. Even the highest leaders, our elected officials, we listen to them tell, both in person and via technology and then we actually wonder why there is so much resistance?

I have found the same to be true in organizations, large and small, for-profit and not-for-profit. While recently facilitating a training on professional communication we came to the topic of active listening. The class was given a short scenario about George and then asked, “what questions would you ask George?” They were stumped. They wanted to tell George what he should do. They didn’t know how to ask him questions to help him solve his dilemma.

Some of the best questions, I think, come from Socrates. The Socratic approach to questioning is based on the practice of disciplined, thoughtful dialogue (imagine that!). Socrates died in 399 B.C. so we’ve clearly been struggling with this concept for a very long time. What held true hundreds of year ago still holds true today. If you have trouble getting into an asking mode instead of telling, here are a few Socratic questions to add to your communication toolbox.

• What do you mean by…?
• Could you put that another way?
• What do you think is the main issue?
• Could you expand upon that point further?
• Why is this question important?
• What assumptions can we make based on this question?
• What would cause someone to make this assumption?
• What could we assume instead?
• What would be an example?
• Why do you think this is true?
• What other information do we need?
• Have you always felt this way?
• What caused you to feel that way?

This week, when tempted to tell, try asking; instead of creating resistance, build relationships.