Strength lies in differences, not similarities. ~Stephen Covey

Several years ago my appendix ruptured. What I didn’t expect was the ER doc’s explanation of the six or so different types of intestinal anatomy. What?! Our internal anatomy isn’t more consistent or common from one individual to the next?! Of course I have one of the more unique intestinal scenarios. Now, even though everything isn’t where it is “supposed to be,” I have had no problems (other than the appendix) and likely never will. I even asked the surgeon if he could put everything back to where it was supposed to be during the surgery. After he did some research, he concluded that it was better to leave things, as is, since I had no issues. Being uniquely complex was working for me.

What’s my appendix got to do with leadership? Well, I’ve discovered that as I age, instead of seeing how very similar people are, I am seeing more how wonderfully complex and unique we are. Even our internal anatomy might be unique or unexpected, and yet, enables our bodies to function effectively. There isn’t just “one way” to be effective.

We Are Amazingly Uniquely Complex

Over the past several weeks I have thought a number of times how amazingly unique we are.

I’ve seen teams who’ve been together for years, and even decades, each have a view of their organization that is surprisingly different. They are seeing it from their own uniquely complex perspective.

I just started reading How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett. I discovered that even how our bodies experience basic emotions like anger, sadness, joy, etc. varies. In fact, variation in how we respond to the same emotion is the norm, not uniformity. Another example of how we are each uniquely complex.

We Forget That We Are Uniquely Complex

I think we would all lead better if we reminded ourselves, frequently, how complex and unique we are. The academic study of leadership began around 1980. Even after 40 years of study and research, there is still not one single definitive definition of “leadership.” I think that’s the case because it’s complicated. We’re trying to lead organizations that are made up of people who are more diverse, more complex, more individually unique than at any point in history. No wonder we have a hard time defining what it really means to lead others.

Anne Wilson Schaef said, “Differences challenge assumptions.” Without differences, we would lead assuming that our thinking or behavior is right, best, or even appropriate. We need differences in order to recognize our assumptions. We need differences to make us stronger. Strength lies in differences, not similarities.

Lead with bold grace and embrace the uniquely complex, both in yourself and others.